Department Of Labor Spends $40 Billion To Create One Amazing New Job

In the face of bad economy, the federal government has allocated $40 billion to stimulate economic growth and boost the confidence of the American workforce.

"After carefully surveying the current employment landscape, it has become evident that generating a single, incredible new job is the most effective course of action," Labor Secretary Hilda Solis said. "Rather than place 2 million Americans in unfulfilling, dead-end careers, we feel that giving one citizen the opportunity to contribute to the study of multiple orgasms in a controlled hot-tub environment will ultimately yield the most lasting change."


Though the new employee will not report to an immediate superior, he or she will be required to submit monthly progress reports pertaining to an ongoing trampoline-and-bottle-rockets public works project.

"If the chosen applicant feels that unwrapping an endless series of Christmas presents is becoming too overwhelming, then they can simply take the rest of the day off and pick it up in the morning," the online posting read.